**Note: Just to let you know, so that you don’t get half way down this post and feel like I’ve cheated you of your time. This post is more of an explanation of what’s been going on these past few months, and doesn’t actually discuss anything to do with craft at all, so if you want to you can just skip reading it all together, or go down to the bottom where I talk about the directions I’ll be taking the blog in the future and other choices I’m making**
Yes, I know.
I did it again. I went completely offline with no warning what so ever.
My only excuse is… I have no excuse.
I’ve been at a point in my life where it seems like you have to make all the big decisions about nothing you completely understand but which will define the rest of your life.
Like being given a menu in some language you don’t speak for food that you’ve never tried before, and a bare bones description of what types of food each section has. “those are spicy.. these sweet ect.”
Well, what type of spicy? And how sweet? And when they say that section has worm food, what exactly do they mean by that? Are they soups? Pies? What exactly is a pie?
I’m talking about my career.
I’ve put off making any kind of solid decision for nearly 5 years now. But that really is what it feels like most of the time.
Some people grow up knowing what they want to be. One of my favorite authors talks about how as a child she would see the words “New York Times Best Seller” on the cover of books, and decided that some day she would do that.
I never had that one thing that stood out to me.
There are in fact a number of things that I think would be cool and that I would enjoy doing.
The best choise for me after high school would have been to get an apprenticeship, because I’m a person that learns by doing things, and physically seeing them happen with my own eyes.
That’s the biggest reason I could never easily keep up in school. My teachers could yack at me for as long as they wanted, but even with me trying to pay attention I could never remember even half of what they said.
The class I absorbed most from was unsurprisingly my Drama class. The only class where I was never forced to sit in front of a white board and copy. To this day I can tell you what an Iambic Pentameter is, all about the Urban Drift (of NZ), Commedia Dell’arte, and “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”.
But ask me about Classical Studies, which was the class I was actually most interested in, and all I can give you is a shrug and a few mutterings about how we talked about Pompeii and read the Odyssey.
I could tell you a bit about the story since I read it myself.
“But wait,” you say, “what did the teacher tell you about it.”
Me, “Ah.. I remember he said that the word Odyssey meant a long journey………..”
My mind just isn’t cut out for listening to lectures.
This is what I’m talking about with the D’Da’s.
But I know what an Iambic pentameter is. It’s a certain way of speaking that is used in poetry, and is designed to utilise a humans natural speaking rhythm and breath pattern to maximise the beauty of the words. It is what all of Shakespeares plays are written in.
Basically, you break the sentence down into 5 notes, and then further break those into two syllables.
“D’da, d’da, d’da, d’da, d’da.”
I know this because I spent time actually speaking quotes from Shakespeare and writing little lines above the words to figure out how the Iambic Pentameter fit into each sentence.
And now I’ve gone on a wee bit about stuff which you likely don’t care at all, so to wrap up my point quickly I’ll just go back to where I said an apprenticeship would have been the best option for me after high school.
It would have given me the opportunity to learn through doing. However, our brilliant government here in New Zealand doesn’t support Apprenticeships at all, and consequently, someone who wants to take on an apprentice is left with what amounts as an employee who doesn’t know a thing about what they are doing. Needing to be taught, they suck up time the person needs to be spending on earning money to feed themselves and wont be able to contribute to brining in income for some time.
As you can imagine, this leaves pretty much all small time businesses completely incapable of taking someone on whether or not they want to.
The only people who offer apprenticeships now days are big labour work companies. Like builders etc. that I have no interest in.
So with an apprentaship off the table my options are either University, with those amazingly huge lecture halls I keep hearing about, or self study.
And that’s the original reason why I began this blog. To give myself a space where I could do the whole self study thing.
But if there is one thing that I have learnt in the past few years, it’s that self study takes discipline, and focus.
In order to focus, you have to at least know what you want to order from the menu.
I managed to narrow it down to one section, craft, right at the beginning. Mainly because I enjoy making things and I figured it wouldn’t be an impossible thing to teach myself.
But as you can see if you look back at my earlier posts, I haven’t really even tried to be consistent with even one type of craft. Except maybe candle making, and I haven’t really focused on that either.
It has gotten to the point now where I need to make some truly solid decisions and stick with them.
Over the past few months I have been thoroughly researching my metaphorical “menu,” ruling out sections I know I have no interest in, and highlighting and further dissecting those parts that I do.
Then going over what’s important to me and trying to decide if tertiary education wouldn’t be worth it after all just for the easy access I’d have to information. Even if it means recording the lectures and then reteaching myself everything I was supposedly taught that day when I got home.
Which I know, sounds completely and utterly ridiculous and tedious. Notes(which I am pathetic at taking) and recordings are supposed to be able to help you remember your lecture, not be a stand in for a text book.
But if I can’t make use of their lectures at all, then what’s the point of giving them my money?
**Note: If you took the read only the bottom option, start here**
I need to decide what I’ll be doing in the next week or so.
I have a pretty good idea, but I don’t want to say anything online until it’s definitely set in stone.
One thing I do know is that I will continue with craft, but probably in more of a hobby type capacity. I’ll be narrowing my focus on what type of crafts too. Candle making definitely, anything else I’m not sure about yet.
Although I’ve been taking a class in Jewellery Making with the polytechnic just for fun, and to dip my toe into tertiary study.
I’m enjoying it so far, and I’ll tell you more about it in another post.
I’ve decided not to continue with my other blog, azurewand.wordpress.com as I’m not a quick writer and one post tends to be almost a days work for me. So hopefully narrowing my focus to just one blog will alleviate some of the time pressure and allow me to write more often. Because I do enjoy writing on this blog, I just have to choose between it and anything else.
I’m also thinking of using it to talk about whatever it is that I focus my studies on in the future, whether it is self study or otherwise. So you might find me talking about other things as well.
As I said, I’ll tell you what that would be once I’ve nailed the lid down on my decisions.
So, I hope this post has helped you understand the erratic nature this blog has had since it’s beginning. I will be getting allot more focused in the future one way or another.
And I hope you find the reading experience to be more steady and enjoyable from here on out.